Hurt People, Hurt Other People: The Angry Village

Hurt People, Hurt Other People: The Angry Village

By James Clark

Hillary Clinton in the 1990s, borrowed from an African proverb; this message was powerful, it cut through all the social narrative of the times. During those times the focus had shifted to fatherless homes, at-risk youth, and others that described conditions in America and the African American community in particular. The phrase simply stated, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

“It takes a village to raise a child”, while at first listen, sound kind of corny and whack, almost like, “Just say, no!” coined by Nancy Reagan. We knew that would not go far in our neighborhoods. But, Clinton’s selection of this African proverb vividly describes the conditions necessary to support the development of human life. It reminds us that to effective raise children into productive, compassionate, and contributing adults, everyone has a role to play.

As I reflected on the statement then, and now, I can look at my upbringing. While I was blessed to have two parents in the home, I was molded by my neighbors. I was influenced by the families that lived next door to us, the Smith’s on one side and the Gill’s on the other. I was touched and influenced by the teachers at Central Catholic Community School, Mrs. Warren and Mrs. Harris. Once I got kicked out of Catholic School, Mr. Charles Shelton at Columbia Middle School, left a lasting impression on me, my hands and my butt. He along with Ms. Pennington and Ms. Reece provided the proper amount of mentorship, love, discipline, support, not only for me, but for hundreds of thousands of students, many who lacked supervision at home.

Here is where it gets real. Yes, “It takes a village to raise a child.” But, what happens when the village is “sick?” Today, we live in a time when so many people are hurting. So many people have become jaded by the trials and tribulations that they have become hyper bitter and lead lives full of pain, anger and frustration. This pain has produced a community of people who go through their everyday lives looking only to pass their pain on to others. And, do not be fooled, the hurt is not limited to the poor. In fact, one could argue that amongst the poor, you will find peace and compassion.

This reality of hurt people looking to hurt other people, and passing the pain takes place every minute of every day in our community. It is demonstrated in how we refuse to make eye contact with each other. It is played out when one person says, “Hello,” and the other, hears but does not reply. It is played out when a person is rude, for no reason. In fact, the act of being rude, is attempting to pass pain. You see, people who have a healthy perspective of self and life, aren’t rude, hardly ever. It is played out by people who love to argue, and debate.

Many people will take any opportunity to verbally confront, argue, or debate, over issues so small that it could be easily overlooked. However, if you are hurt, you use any and some every opportunity to attempt to hurt.
This behavior of passing pain, and hurt people hurting other people, is practiced throughout society. It is demonstrated in the church, the night club, the barbershop, the gas station, corporate board rooms, and professional office cubicles. Hurt people, hurting people, and passing pain is everywhere.

We must return our communities to one that can raise a child. Today, our village is sick, and produces hurt people, that seek to hurt other people, and people looking to pass their personal pain, and feelings of frustration to others. My life is full of barbers, drug dealers, alcoholics, drug addicts, pastors, priest, nuns and nightclub owners that helped raise me, and my generation. You see, through it all, they understood the need to show love, support and compassion.

In order to change the climate, and culture that once was the foundation of our families, and neighborhoods, we must remove the bitter, aggressive, disrespectful behavior that has pulled us to our current position. We must heal the village, in order to raise kinder, well-adjusted children, and secure our future.

Editor’s Note: Community Activist James R. Clark is also VP, Community Outreach for Better Family Life, Inc. (314) 381-8200. The opinions expressed by Clark are not necessarily those of this website.